Modern Heathenry and Airing Our Dirty Laundry on the Internet

So it is 10:30pm on a Sunday night. I am halfway through dishes in an attempt to make room in the kitchen to rack my mead… but instead I find myself at the kitchen table pounding out words at the keyboard. It doesn’t matter who it was this time out there is the broader sphere of online Heathenry. It doesn’t matter who got the gears turning. It wasn’t the first time. It won’t be the last. That is the point of this really…

Sometimes we disagree with other Heathens. Sometimes we disagree with other Heathens who are in our own tribes, kindreds, or close-knit communities. Sometimes those disagreements are beyond reparations and lead to a rift, or splitting off into separate groups. Sometimes tempers just flare, and Heathens are too proud to do the work to reestablish common ground. Either way unless it is my group, it is none of my concern… at least it shouldn’t be.

The problem is that in this fast-paced modern world, when tempers flare we often turn to posting online to rant. (Ranting on its own is sometimes productive, like what I am attempting right now. The problem is when we point fingers while we are all heated, and say things we can’t take back. The internet is permanent.) 

We need to start recognizing that our gripes with the people we are close to should be solved offline. We don’t need to make statements bordering on defamation because we got a bit too hot-headed. If you don’t have anything nice to stay then zip it! (Within reason. If someone is a bigot, the broader community should probably know.) Ideally, if you want to make a statement about what happened you need a cooling off period first. Too many good Heathens get shunned by the broader community because people aired their dirty laundry online in anger, instead of trying to talk through it. Why are we witch hunting among our fellow Heathens? Stop being a keyboard warrior and do the work. 

Tribes grow and tribes change. We sometimes have differences in ideology and split off into different smaller groups. Those groups in turn grow. Sometimes years later we realize that the reasons we disagreed before are silly looking back. If you are doing the work your Heathenry is constantly evolving, and you are constantly learning and growing. Theological differences you may have had years ago may be entirely moot eventually. 

Take the Loki Ban for instance. We are coming to realize slowly within the broader community that even if we don’t personally worship Loki, there should be spaces in our community for those that do, and the Loki is important for representation and intersectionality within the Heathen community. A decade ago Loki worship broke up tribes. We are all learning together. Sometimes every one of us makes mistakes. It is more of a huge red flag if someone claims they haven’t. Once we realize we have made a mistake it is important to admit it graciously and work to make reparations. Sometimes it takes awhile to realize we were in the wrong though. And often disagreements aren’t one-sided.

Let’s not make our community smaller. Inclusive Heathenry is meant to bring us together, despite our differences. If you can’t make it work between yourself and other individuals, don’t go bad mouthing them online. There are other communities out there with different thew than your own that might be a better fit for those individuals. Agreeing to disagree as long as it isn’t hurting anyone will make Heathenry much more welcoming. Heathenry has always had different practices and beliefs between tribes. It is important to recognize the common ground where there is some, but allow others the space to practice with their own traditions even if they aren’t right for you.

I want to also say, how far we have come in recent years. We are becoming better and being Inclusive and Accessible in our Heathenry. I have had so many great conversations with people in the broader community lately about really heavy issues. I am so ecstatic for the safe spaces that are being created to have the difficult discussions and to not always agree, but to disagree productively. (And to find common ground where we can.) I especially want to shout out to the very supportive circles of women, trans, and non-binary individuals who I have been able to be a part of. We really build each other up, and that is so important. I am  grateful for the many wonderful and diverse Heathens I have come to know and share Frith and Grith with. 

Image Source:

“Red Tent” by Valoru, 2012.