Heathen Lullabies, and Raising a Whole Child

I have been spending too much time on TikTok lately. Which is probably a poor use of time, however, occasionally something interesting comes of it. For instance, I recently was just flipping through content and found a song sung by bella.dandrea which is a "Norse Pagan" (for why this is in quotations, read here) song meant to be sung to your daughter as you are waking her up in the morning. The lyrics are as follows:

There once was a little lady

Little idel leigh

And she stood up tall and proud

The drums they are so quiet

To the way that her feet pound

Freya smiling down

Idunn she’s oh so proud

Nott so joyous

Syf so happy

Hamynga dares to grin

Hel can’t help but stare

The little lady there

They all feel so proud

Happy little lady found

Chorus: Little idel leigh, del leigh, little idel lay

Little idel leigh, del leigh, little idel lay

Hey! (x2)

I thought this was quite beautiful and it sent me down a rabbit hole on heathen lullabies, and what was out there. It will probably not shock you that at least publicly there is not much, and some of it is pretty much crap. I broadened my search to broadly pagan lullabies and children’s songs and then there was more, but I felt a lot of them didn’t really capture a lot within the heathen context. I decided to rewrite for myself some of the lyrics of a few of the songs I thought were salvageable, which I wrote down in a notebook, along with another lullaby I know which I had already adapted, because it seemed to lend itself fairly readily to being about Mani. 

Now, it is not much of a surprise, at least to me that this sent me so quickly down a rabbit hole on this topic, because my husband and I are hoping to have a child very soon. Additionally, my background is in Education, and I was drawn to the field because I saw how broken public education was in so many ways and I wanted to get into private education and even open my own school, to help counteract what I saw was wrong with this system. However, having worked in the private sector as well, I am not sure this is entirely feasible, sadly. Now, for the most part what I see as being wrong with the public education system is its ability to meet individual learners where they are at and encourage their strengths, while keeping them from getting discouraged by their weaknesses. However, I feel Western Society as a whole is also missing the mark fairly strongly on producing whole children. 

Some of you may be familiar with different types of learning styles. The most commonly known learning styles are visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic. Now, there are some theories that this list actually extends to 9 types of intelligences that an individual can have. Everyone has all of these to some extent, but individuals can be particularly strong in some areas, and weaker in others. The list is as follows: Visual-Spatial, Logical-Mathematical, Verbal-Linguistic, Interpersonal, Intrapersonal, Musical, Bodily-Kinaesthetic, Naturalist, and Existential. For the most part schools address at least some of all of these intelligences, except Existential. The separation of church and state means that children have no spiritual outlet at school. 

I am not saying that I think we should allow the church into the schools, but that is not really not necessary in providing a child with basic spiritual instruction. I am suggesting merely, adding elements to the classroom to teach spiritual well-being. This could be yoga or meditation. It could be looking broadly at modern religions. It could be children sharing some of their cultures and traditions with the class. This is not happening enough, but worse, many families also are not giving their children any spiritual instruction either. Even if you dislike the church, you are hurting your child by giving them no spiritual instruction whatsoever. 

I know I am treading in difficult territory here, because for example, some parents are atheist. I assure you I don’t mean this as an affront to atheism. I personally don’t think I could live with atheism, given the way my life experiences have played out, but I recognize that many people do quite happily. I do encourage atheists to at least teach their children that many other people do have religious beliefs and what their basic core tenants might be (if the parent knows this) and to just try generally not to hate on religion in general in front of your child. You should absolutely teach them critical thinking and science and discuss why some people are atheists and some are not. When it comes down to it though, atheist parents are not who I am targeting with this post at all, it is the parents who are spiritually ambivalent but feel slighted by the religion they were raised in and just have decided to raise their child without religion. Please don’t. You don’t have to pick a religion for you and your family in order to meet your child’s spiritual needs, but they do have spiritual needs. And some children are just more wired to Existential intelligence, and we are doing them a disservice by not allowing them to explore this part of themselves and this way of relating to the world. 

You can easily encourage Existential intelligence without having any religious affiliations. You need to discuss the big questions like “Why are we here?” and “What is our purpose?” etc, and that can easily be done with philosophy, or by discussing what a variety of people believe. It is also about teaching your child grace and courtesy, and self-regulation. Teaching them how to calm themselves when they have big feelings through breathing, meditation, music, and nature. Teaching them how to think beyond themselves and to interact positively and contribute to their community. Teaching them to be accepting of differences and speak out against moral wrongdoing. 

So that is Existential Intelligence broadly, and as a heathen parent you can definitely teach your child about your own spiritual practice, and you should. I find myself in a unique situation where I have to tread lightly on how I approach any future child’s spiritual education. Living in an interfaith household with a Christian spouse has its own set of challenges. I realize as the mother the child will look to me first so I need to be very cautious about how I approach this subject so that I do not alienate my child from my spouse.

I try very hard in all of my interactions with people in general to remain unbiased towards christianity in my speech. I don’t think it is right that pagans often come together and hate on christianity and turn it into a huge pity party. That is neither helpful nor wise. That said, I cannot lie and say that my christian upbringing never hurt me. I think the most hurtful thing that occurred was that my parents chose instead of to baptise me at birth to let me “choose” to be baptised when I was older. I was 9 and my brother was 7 when this occurred. We were told we had a choice whether we wanted to be baptised as christian, but that was a bit of a falsehood as I pretty much only knew of two options at that age, which were to be christian or to be jewish, and it was impressed upon us that being jewish was silly because it basically meant you believed in the old testament but that no messiah had come yet. This was portrayed as backwards thinking by the trusted adults in my life. (Now please don’t read into this too much. I love my family and they did what they thought was right in a different time. Also, they had no idea they were raising a little heathen. I hold no resentment towards them for this occurrence, just for the situation.) So of course, both my brother and I were baptised. Two years later, by the time I was 11 I was already questioning my faith because suddenly the world had opened up to me and I knew more about the existence of other religions. 

As such, I strive not to make this same sort of situation occur in my own parenting. I have no expectations that I am raising a little heathen. Although I will share my beliefs and worldview with my future child, and my husband will share his, I will also encourage my child to learn about other beliefs and explore them with friends or out of their own personal interests. 

Absolutely, I will sing heathen lullabies, and tell stories from the lore. Absolutely, I will expect my husband to also sing songs and tell stories from his own faith. I will also struggle probably daily with being neutral, with not letting my own history or experiences shape the attitude I present towards monotheistic beliefs. But I will do everything to raise a whole child. I want a child who has a variety of tools they can fall back on when faced with life’s challenges. I want a child who is caring, and compassionate, and can positively impact their world. I want a child who asks the big questions, even when they are difficult to answer, and who never feels discouraged from pursuing those answers in a way that is meaningful to them. I want a child who knows themselves, and isn’t afraid to be themselves. A child who knows their parents will accept them as they are, and a child who truly gets to choose their faith. Not when they are 9 years old, but when they are ready. A child who might choose one faith and later change their mind, and then change their mind again as they learn and grow. A child who will know each time they change their mind that their parents are right there along with them and will love them unconditionally. (Unless they choose Scientology, then we will have a talk.) 

So the rabbit hole for me is having the toolkit to teach my child from a heathen worldview, while simultaneously letting my husband teach my child from a christian worldview, and me remaining as unbiased as I can throughout. The truth of the matter is, even if you aren’t in my shoes, christianity probably permeates the culture in which you are raising your child. You cannot completely shelter your child from the christian worldview and to do so will probably hurt your child in their ability to relate to their peers. We have to accept at some point that heathen worldview is within the minority, and our children will have outside influences. We are just there to guide them through it and try to help them navigate it in a way that is useful to their own spiritual growth and well-being. Our children are going to come home with difficult questions that at times we won’t find easy to answer. All we can do is do our best.

As for heathen lullabies and children’s songs, I will keep down that rabbit-hole. If you have any suggestions to check out you can contact me on Instagram or Facebook. And if you are interested in a few good ones I found, I will include them in links in the reference section below.

Further Listening/Viewing:

“Cuckoo Song” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY3V740jn-w This is the lullaby that I have known since childhood and have modified for Mani. The modified lyrics go as follows: “Mani moon, Mani moon, you’re out too soon, for Sunna’s still in the sky. Go back to bed and cover up your head and wait until Nott draws nigh.” 

“Savage Daughter” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiRnVmR6fJQ 

“The Wolf Song” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTmatjyd4KM 

“Song for Odin” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJRm_jYTMO4 

Song for Norse Pagan Daughter https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRYJWK5M/

“Norse Lullaby” by Eugene Field (3 parts)

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRYeJcSU/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRYedynj/ 

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRYJKohk/ 

“Holda’s Spinning Song” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfsuEI9DNHM 

Image Source:

“Sol and Mani Reimagined” by glithch (Reddit) https://www.reddit.com/r/ProCreate/comments/fp9qly/norse_gods_sol_and_mani_reimagined/